Simplicity Done With Grace

Day Out With Daddy

We started this wonderful Father's Day with breakfast in bed...

Then showered our wonderful Daddy with cards and gifts...

Then headed out for a day of hiking at Placerito Canyon 

Venturing off on a 2.6 mile walk each way, determined to find a waterfall that we all anticipated to be one that mimicked one we've seen at Eaton's Canyon to say the least. But after almost 3 hours of hiking uphill..

We were greeted with a trickling stream of water like this...

But it was so worth it, because at the end of the day after almost 5 hours of walking uphill with the heat of the sun beating down our backs, to see these smiles...

...was priceless!

More pictures of our day are here.

So This Is Love.... La, da, da, da... so this is love....

Happy Father's Day!

Footprints
"Walk a little slower, Daddy,"
said a child so small.
"I'm following in your footsteps
and I don't want to fall.

Sometimes your steps are very fast,
Sometimes they're hard to see;
So walk a little slower, Daddy,
For you are leading me.

Someday when I'm all grown up,
You're what I want to be;
Then I will have a little child
Who'll want to follow me.

And I would want to lead just right,
And know that I was true;
So, walk a little slower, Daddy,
For I must follow you."

~ Author Unknown

The Blog World

As a stay at home mom... we don't get much interaction with other adults, other than the moms you meet once in a while for a play date, or the parent you swear in anger in kiddie language trying to steal that one parking spot that you swear is the easiest way to pick up your kids in the valet, or the other mommy that you declared mommy wars on. 

As a stay at home mom... we cherish the internet.  We find our connections to the adult world, and the stay at home mom world there.  We find that we're pretty normal with our every day struggles with our children,our husbands, our lives, our duties, our chores, our days. 

As stay at home mom... the blog world is my salvation... It's wear I keep my sanity. I connect with so many other moms, who's faces I've only seen in pictures posted and who's stories I've read over a million times.  

This past Thursday morning, I was able to meet one of those moms. On a trip she made out with her son Seth. I took this as an opportunity and sign that it's time that I met at least one of the mother's whom I've grown close to in the blogging world.  We met for breakfast with our youngest sons in tow. 

Seth of course was as adorable as can be and Matthew was relentless and rowdy as usual.  Meeting Ellyn and Seth was the highlight of the week, seeing the people that I read about on a nightly basis was a treat, to actually put a real person behind the stories I read was amazing.

We talked alot about our children, the special needs of our babies, and the differences in the cities we lived in. I wish we could have talked forever, I wish that my sentences weren't interrupted every 5 minutes with me getting up to run after Matthew.  I wish that I could have asked her more and more questions that I possibly could have.  Ellyn's such a knowledgable person and such a wonderful advocate for her child. 

The experience was amazing and I left the restaurant with nothing but admiration.  I hope to one day meet her and her family again. 

Our 5th Wedding Anniversary...

... was on the 12th, but ask my husband and he swears it was today.   But I forgive him, the poor guy has a million things going on in his mind.  To be perfectly honest with you, I can't believe myself just how long we've been together.  I can't believe we've been together for almost 8 years, and married for 5. I guess the say is true, time does fly when you're having fun. 

... in the past 5 years of marriage, we've endured together more than any other couple has in a life time of days. Through every obstacle and tribulation, it has been easier so long as I had his arm to hold onto when I had gotten frightened or scared. It was much more fun to enjoy ever blessing we've been given, with him right beside me to high five!

--- in the past 5 years, I can recall every bad moment we've had together, but have chosen to frolic in the absolute happy moments of our lives together. I can be sad later, but for now I choose to be happy.

... in the past 5 years, every day has been a gift that I've been blessed with. To have a man I can call my true best friend, my confident, my provider, my love, my life.  What more could a girl truly ask for?

On the day of our anniversary, I expected nothing, because I was blessed with everything. So what? He thought our anniversary was a week later... the joy is knowing that he knew it was in June.

We had planned nothing that day, just to be together and to be with our wonderful children.  Once they fell asleep, we had a genius idea to go to the movies but catch dinner first.  We both craved sushi, but by the time the children were tucked soundly into bed, it was 10:30 p.m. and there was no way on God's green earth that there would anything open in the town that we lived in, so we opted to head to the movie theater and watch a movie we both craved as well.  To our disappointment, when we got there the crowds were huge, and we could find no rhyme or reason to stand in line for half an hour only to be disappointed with seats that would leave us in agonizing neck pain. So we decided to head out and go search for a place to eat. 

Before we knew it, we were on the freeway, headed over back to the valley to patrol through the streets of Ventura Blvd. for a non gaudy looking late night sushi place, but to our disarray we found nothing. We decided to keep driving and somewhere between today and Universal Studios, Ventura Blvd. turned into Cuhenga Blvd. and there we were. In uncharted territory with our old asses cruising down Sunset Blvd. 

We looked at each other and said, "what the hell are we doing here on a Friday night?" It was then that we both knew that we were far over our prime, that our days of clubbing and late night bar hopping was over. We actually stared at the young twenty something year old girls in their obviously not so comfortable clothing, screaming in drunkness through their cellphones, running across streets holding onto each other's frail arms - and actually felt annoyed. We had become those old couples that were actually annoyed.

Eventually we found ourselves at a decent late night Sushi restaurant, called Sushi Dan.

We arrived around midnight, and by this time we were starving. But our eyes were hungrier than our tummy's. Big mistake to order so late at night.

As we waited for our dinner/breakfast.  We talked about shows we watched during late nights.  We've grown sickenly addicted to the History Channel.  We started to talk about politics and the end of the world. Not so romantic topics, but they were topics that kept us intrigued.

There's something about being on a date with your husband and not feeling any pressure at all to think of something witty to entertain each other with.

We ended up going home with 4 take home boxes, filled with the sushi that we could not finish, but swore that we would eat it when we got home.  It was 2 am by the time we got home. And we were so exhausted.

It may seem like an ordinary night to any other person, but that night, we celebrated 5 years of marital most of the time bliss. 

It was perfect.

It was romantic.

It was time for us to celebrate each other.

Trust and Perseverance

Definitions:

Trust: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

Perseverance: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement

Why is it that when we trust in someone or something we normally are let down beyond comprehension? That the battleground that you once fought together with, then becomes the aftermath of World War III, with nothing but flaming heart aches, broken bridges, and heavy fog that diminish what you sought for?

Why is it when one believes that you can trust another that information then becomes ammunition when arguments flair? Why is it that we can't be honest with the ones we trust? Are there rules to this game of trust?

Trusting a person isn't something that is easy. We go through a screening process, an interview, then the job offer. But even when given that job offer there are contingencies and rules that aren't clarified or brought forth, leading one or both parties into false pretenses that the relationship is true. What happens next is avoidance, misunderstandings, the death of the relationship because most people are afraid of confrontations. Fearing that one may not take the truth or the allegations so open mindedly and the backlash can do far too much harm than salvaging the relationship itself.

So what does someone do when victimized from the deafening silence from the other party that she once trusted?

Nothing...

That's right! You read that right NOTHING...

Who is at fault???

No One

Again! You read right NO ONE!

If you cannot be open and free to communicate with the person you've trusted, than really what is worth saving for either parties?  Accountability MUST be present... you have to be able to say what it is that is bothering you AND apologize for what you've done wrong if the relationship is at all worth salvaging.  NOT, keep quiet and wonder if that other person is supposed to read your mind and assume that that person will come graveling at your feet apologizing for upsetting you when perhaps that person does NOT know what it is that is bothering you.  I mean really? Women aren't mind readers either....

I, took the do nothing approach when it came to trust... In many instances when gossip has been my demise and lack of finding the truth has been the death of almost all of my friendships and relationship, I have done nothing. Because I've done the whole "clean my name" deal - I find that even if I do explain myself and have even apologized for upsetting someone, sometime and somewhere down the road that relationship will fail...  it will fail because people will believe the drama of it, not the simple answers of truth from a person that this person once trusted...

I'm pretty honest... sometimes brutally honest... and that has been the heavy load I carry on my back. A lot of people don't like me for who I am, because I don't beat around the bush.  They take it as me being pushy or me being demanding. But one thing I've been accused of is being too needy - that my friends is far beyond what I am.  If anything, I almost shy away from being helped, I don't like it, it's an attribute that is far from how I was brought up. I like to do things on my own and because of this mentality, I believe that if a person truly needs help she/he can help themselves first and then ask for help - if asking for help is the first thing that a person does it means they are too lazy to live. That's my perspective though.

So now, I'm left with this trust issue at hand. I trust no one. I'll take that back... I trust as many people as I can count on my 10 little fingers (yes, including the abnormally short pinkies that I have - another post for explanation).

This is part of my huge change in my life... I trust these 10 people with my life and with my family's life.  Everyone else takes a back seat to this new awesome journey that I'm embarking on.  Scorned by bad bruises of disappointment and scarred by broken promises and trust - I trust no one else.

Perseverance will be my motivator to achieve what I want to accomplish in the long run. I can honestly say, that if at the end all that I have in the world are the 10 people that I can count on my ten little fingers is all that I have - I can die a happy woman. 

At the end, beyond all that one has put me through, a group has forced me into, a relationship that cheated me out of trust - I will persevere to be better than anything. I have gained my confidence back, I walk in a room knowing that I am the best that I can be and that no amount of anger, resentment, hate, gossip, rumor, denial, or pessimism will ever bring me back down to the level of hell that I have been going through this past 3 years.  YOU WILL NOT BREAK ME! I will live the rest of my life, knowing that I beat you at your own game, I WILL prove you wrong!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personal Note:

So I guess you can assume I've gained my voice back... and my confidence. I guess you can say that in a way I'm still bitter and angry. HECK YEAH! But all this energy that I used to put on pointless people has now been redirected over to my family, completely recycled over to complete pure happiness and contentment.

Being more positive around my husband, children, and family has made me a better person.

Yesterday, we installed a closet organizer into Matthew's bedroom closet. With my siblings and mother temporarily moving in until things get more organized before the "big move to the islands," we've opted to somehow fit the wardrobe of 3 fashionably sensible young boys into one closet. The old layout wasn't working out and so we decided to just make it work. I went through 8 years worth of clothing and stuffed animals - and have filled up 6 trash bags ready for donation to our local good will. 

We also reorganized the nursery and made room for a later addition of a twin bed for guests. I have pictures of it now, but not before. It was chaotic!

So this one little reorganization task has sparked a nesting bug and I'm determined to get the entire house done by the end of the summer but hopefully sooner. And I'm talking complete reorganization! Not just finding a new home for lost items, I mean tossing out the old and slimming down the unnecessary... I'm talking leaving space for happiness in our home. 

The round-up
Matthew got two shots today during his doctor's appointment today.  One for immunizations and the other a tb test. We have to go back on Friday to get it read. I had to wake him up early from his nap today to get him over to the doctor's office. When I woke him up, he was all smiles - one of the many perks that I have with this child is that he is always happy! EXCEPT, for when he gets his shots. When we got to the doctor's office he was all smiles, excited to be in a somewhat unfamiliar area.  We waited about 15 minutes in the waiting room, looking at the fish in the tank, while he pointed at the fish convinced his name was "elmo."  The nurse came out, with a big smile, and asked us to go to the examination room. Matthew smiled as I laid him down on the bed and I leaned over to kiss him and smile, to get his attention to me. Holding his arm down, the nurse administered the first shot, he wailed. My heart stopped. I look over at Jerry and his face was one comparable to a witness seeing an accident occur right before his eyes,  scrunched up, mouth ajared, and pain in his eyes. The nurse administered the second shot and Matthew's cries turned into screams of pain. Jerry then runs over and pulls Matthew's pants up back to his waste and carries him.

"You have got to get your facial expressions under control ESPECIALLY when he's looking at you!" I said jokingly.

"But that was painful!" He replied while cradling Matthew in his arms.

"I think we all know that from your face." I said.

Daniel also got his shots. A TB test and an immunization shot as well. He came prepared to take one shot, but when he heard that there was 2 he began to worry. Jerry started to explain to him that it would only pinch for one second, calming him, and preparing him. It worked. Jerry is always so great at calming Daniel down and talking him through it.  As Daniel sat at the foot of the bed, Jerry told him repeatedly that it would pinch for just a second... Daniel's face was full of determination. The first shot was administered and not one tear fell.   The second shot was what he came prepared for, the "bubble shot" aka the TB Test. Again, Jerry comforted him and said, "just a pinch" and again Daniel's face was full of determination but this time his eyes started to well up.  Before we knew it we were done. And both Jerry and I ran to Daniel's side and praised him for being such a brave and calm boy.  We treated him to ice cream afterwards as a treat for taking the shots so well. We let him pick whatever his heart desired. And his heart desired a rainbow sherbert scoop in a chocolate and rainbow sprinkle covered sugar cone topped with M & M's. The ultimate ice cream for a 5 year old!

Brandon has been enjoying his last week of school. Today was Game Day and he was allowed to bring any game he wanted. He chose Pokemon of course after discussing with his friends the battle that they would have in class. Last night, he sorted through his hundreds and hundreds of pokemon cards, picking out the best of the best and placing them in a little ziploc bag. When he woke up this morning, he was beyond excited and ready to have Game Day at school. He came home this afternoon with a stuffy nose, so I gave him a little bit of medicine and now he lays in his bed unstuffed and asleep.

Jerry and I are still on cloud 9. I read an article today about marriage and parenting and if it was doable. I think that is is material for a great post later. But I have to admit, I read a lot of stuff that I was totally unaware of.  It's funny how as mother's we are noted for our valiant efforts in keeping the family together, but as wives so many of us fail so much. Do we put parenting before marriage?

Huge Changes Underway

I guess this is the setback of being alone a lot, having to come face to face with what must be changed in order to keep sane and happy. 

Is this one of many moments in life where one should just accept what is given to her and move on? To let go of the wheel and just let destiny happen? To quit forcing an outcome that I so want when most of the time it is what sometimes seems as an inevitable perpetual whirlwind of chaos? Does this make sense?

Lately, I've been forced into this little rabbit hole of complete darkness. So many expectations as a mother, sister, wife, and friend are bickering around me and I'm in complete mayhem. I love doing what I do for others, I honestly do... but sometimes I have to stop and think, Am I Doing Too Much?

A Change Is Needed

Because I don't feel like my life is going where it should. And when I say my life I don't mean my life with my children, husband, or relatives... I mean my life in other aspects. I know I have the potential to be something greater than what I am today. Right now, I feel like I'm in idle and I'm frustrated because I'm not quite sure what is keeping me there. Is it time for me to Ctrl+Alt+Dlt and just reboot with a more callous skin, a more selfish attitude, a more bitter taste in my mouth, a sense of righteousness, a better hold of who I am, and just All Man for Himself kind of outlook in life?

I have to be honest I've been down that road before, where all I did was think of myself - It didn't last too long, maybe a week or two, but it was by far the hardest thing I ever had to do. I had to put aside who I really was, because it wasn't acceptable.

Ever Had That I'm Gonna Be A Bitch Phase???

I had this attitude all through out highschool. I was always worried that I wouldn't be accepted because I changed schools so often.  In order to survive adolescent life, I had to go in a room and think to myself, I am the most perfect person in here... I have the most confidence. I had to be a bitch althroughout highschool because I was different. Not different like "ewe, she's a nerd." I was different because of rumors, because no one cared to hear the real story of who I am and how I ended up where I was.

So yes, I was a bitch in highschool - and strangely enough, this was my savior.

In college, I decided to approach my social life with a more trusting attitude.  Bad time to do this change, since it did nothing but get me used for whatever reason, finanicial, emotional, social status - you name it...

I carried the pushover attitude from college to present. And now, I'm just ready to carry on that BITCH attitude again - because I am tired.  I'm tired of being used, I'm tired of being dropped, I'm tired of being accused of something I didn't do, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm TIRED.... I'm tired of fighting for the truth.

That's My Choice - It's What People Refer To. But Am I Really?

So being a "bitch," is my first step to one of many huge changes going underway. It's not to say that I will be going out of my way to make one's life miserable. It just means that I'm not folding under the social stigma or the pressure to make a situation comfortable. It means that I'm living my life for me. And if you don't like what I'm doing, call it what you want, but it doesn't change the fact that I'll be doing what I do.

How Do I Feel About A Drastic Change To Obtain Sanity In A Chaotic Way?

I've been carrying this attitude for a couple of months now. Just thinking about me, just thinking about my kids, my future, my husband, my life.... and I have to admit. It's the best I've felt in a very long time.

This will probably bite me back pretty hard sooner or later... but again, those who disagree will have to live knowing that I'm not graveling at your feet for forgiveness anymore. I have but one judge and He knows the truth. The rest will have to live with their own demons and guilt and make sense of it themselves.

Homefront

My life is perfect!

Matthew is growing and learning each and every day. He's learned to say "see ya!" when he see's you leaving... he's learned a few words to a song, "Oh baby YOUUUUU!!!" and he's even learned to answer my cell phone when collectors call, "No Money." Who needs an intense social life when you've got a baby before you entertaining you to the bones???

Daniel and his friend Jamilah (Cynthia's daughter) had a sleepover last night.  Those two have gotten quite chummy and honestly I couldn't be more happy to see my son socializing with such an awesome, well mannered and well behaved little girl. Sometimes they don't know that I can hear them on the baby monitor or they don't know that I'm in the other room eve's dropping on their conversations. But I often hear Daniel explaining things to Jamilah or just talking about life... Imagine that! A couple of preschoolers pondering over life.... talking about the weather or what they ate last night and what was best about it.

Brandon has stepped up to the plate and his taking a more responsible and productive role with his brothers and with house chores. In fact, tonight he came up to me while I was sorting through the laundry and insisted that I teach him what to do. Normally, I'm overwhelmed with the housework but seeing that my eldest son take part in it is rewarding enough to truck through the loads of laundry and housework that surround me throughout the week.

Mommy Lesson

So as previously posted, being alone has given me a lot of time to think.

I realized that I'm a very angry and bitter person and sadly this reflects onto my children because I'm constantly yelling - living in a house full of boys, I often find myself yelling over them to get my point across. 

So I tried a new tactic - speaking softly - holy cow! it works! It's more frightening to hear me calmly say something than it is to scream as loud as I can. 

I realized that my frustrations regarding my social life and the pattern in which my life is going should not be a daunting and sometimes scary encounter with my children. I never hit my children, I never verbally abuse them, but I do scare them (and sometimes myself) with my sometimes moody (with tears) pleas to stop misbehaving or pathetic cry for help around the house.

My voice was discovered when I gave birth to my first son and it pretty much carried over into my other two children. But this change has to include a calmer more mellow me.

I'm hoping that I can progress with the decrease of yelling but being a mother of three boys and wife to a very loud husband can be some times trying on me.

Lord, give me the strength to see past my own personal problems and embrace the love that my sons have for me, embrace me hard and long enough to feel that love again when I have lost sight of what my main purpose is.

I definitely don't want my boys to grow up to be yellers.

Kookiness

Aye! Life has been unbearably hectic.  With the school year ending, a sudden increase in neighborhood robberies and the unexpected need for a neighborhood watch, Matthew getting sick, then Jerry getting sick, and now ME getting sick, I just honestly have not had the time to update my blog. Although there has been a lot to talk about. LOL!

Glorious little Matthew decided to pee on my laptop while watching Elmo on youtube.com and that has left me with a lesser convenience of just propping myself next to a screen to share the latest blurbs. Absolutely sucks! BUT, on a brighter note it has helped me focus on the more important, but less tempting duties of home making. So now, I've been forced inspired and motivated to give myself a certain allowance on the computer (yes, I'm addicted to the wonderful world of the internet). Because everything has been so out of the ordinary I haven't really implemented much of this schedule because I'm still adjusting.

While being sick this entire week, I've been making a priority list of what I want done around the house and trying to combine it with what I must do without compromising the time I want to spend with my kids and being overwhelmed. I'm finding a lot of time alone with not the usual crowd of friends that usually squat in my home and rather than fighting for that surrounding I'm engulfing myself in this strange concept of being alone. I've gotten a lot of time to just think about life and where my childrens' lives are headed.

With the many changes happening right now (and believe me when I say there are many changes and maybe one day when I catch my breath I'll share it all with you) I'm pretty happy with where we are right now. I just have to restructure my expectations and listen to my limitations. Like I've said in previous posts I have a temper and I have a serious issue with being "dropped" or "abandoned" but I'm coming to terms with it especially in the "friendship" department. I'm okay with just getting a simple hi or hello and just leaving it at that.

Friends for coffee V. Friends for life

A concept that sounds so easy but in it's own little warped and twisted way difficult to understand. I guess it's one of those great mysteries in life that makes us all individuals.

But I'm happy...

... and that's all that matters as far as I'm concerned. Granted, I have those manic moments in which the earth is crumbling to the ground and I'm about 6 feet beneath the rubble. The chant of "I'm happy" keeps me sane.

Love and Marriage

Jerry and I have been on cloud 9. I love that we're just so comfortable with one another and that we know one another so well that explanations seem to annoy us. We know why we do what we do, but the more we try to explain it to one another it becomes this monotone autonomous repeat of "blah.. blah... blah, blah, BLLAAAAAAAAH!!!" I mean really! If you've been together for more than 5 years, you pretty much have it nailed down and how to cope with it.

We're both very tired and very busy, but we make time for each other - We're happy! Happy with the standards that we put forth between us. It's what works for us... does it need an explanation? I don't think so.

The Nest Egg

Matthew is on a roll! He's speaking in 4 word sentences, mimicking every word and every move we make. He's a character and a love bug. His hugs are getting more and more intense, his wails and cries are getting more deceitful, and the little booger has Jerry and I second guessing our next move.

Daniel's kindergarten orientation was earlier this week and I nearly had a meltdown walking with him at our elementary school's parking lot. I suddenly realized that I will now have two children in elementary school and although I've been secretly counting the days down to when he will be going to school a huge part of me wanted to grab him tight and just hold him... but how uncool would that be???

Brandon is finishing up 2nd grade... CRAZY!!! and in 3 short weeks he'll be flying out to Toronto with his dad. I've been a major pain in the ass because I was hoping his dad would fold and let me have him for the summer. I hate having to say goodbye and this is perhaps the hardest part of being in two separate homes. Being the custodial parent in this situation means giving up vacations and all the great summer memories that one day we'll never get to look back on. I'm hoping that a better arrangement can be made later on, but for now I'll have to let my angel go. So not looking forward to it - did I mention that??? I'll say it again, So not looking forward to it!!!!!!

Well, I've yet 2 floral centerpiece samples to make, an outting with Cynthia and her darling Jamilah, and an evening of complete relaxation with favors (honestly, I enjoy this! it's what makes my day =) So I promise I'll try harder in updating more appropiately.

Thank you for those still religiously reading my blog. Gotta love feedjit... that's right I see you!

Time Flies and Procrastination Persists

Having to say good bye to my dad was perhaps the hardest part of the past week.  I was so sad to see him go, but held back my tears as he walked through the entry way of the international gates.  I wanted to be happy for him because he deserved to retire at home, where for the last 10 years he has saved up every extra penny to build a home and a farm, so that he could relax there.

My sister, Karen came along as well and I think in lieu of crying our tearful eyes out she instigated a lot of poking to detour us from wailing. Which I completely appreciated.

Our family isn't big on public affection and so to see my parents hugging and kissing like a couple of teenagers on their first date, well... it left me wanting my dad to stay a little longer.

I'm hoping that we'll be able to go and visit him in the Phillippines in the next year or so.  I haven't been back since I was 15 years old. Which was ahem... over ten years ago.

I heard that a lot has changed and I can't wait to see how much the quaint little city I lived in for a year has progressed.

This past weekend was Memorial Day Weekend and Brandon got a 4 day holiday.  We wanted to make this vacation special since Brandon will be leaving for the entire summer to be with his dad, a period in time in which I'm not so excited about. Anyhow, we originally planned for just a couple of days in San Diego (Sunday and Monday to be exact) but prior plans were cancelled and so we were able to take advantage of the entire weekend and made a last minute change and enjoyed 4 glorious days in the cooler weather of San Diego.

Friday, we drove out in the evening to our hotel that was located 5 minutes away from the Mexican border.  I was a little hesitant at first but because of the deal we got we couldn't resist and thankfully after absolutely no traffic or meltdowns we were greeted with a decent hotel. Cynthia and her family came and met us up there to stay the night and accompany us to Sea World the next day.

Saturday, we went to Sea World and had a blast. Honestly, we've never been out with another family with young children and had such a relaxing time in a most chaotic scene - remember, it was Memorial Day weekend. We got to see all the shows we wanted, see the sea animals we loved, ate and played all day without struggling with what our next move would be. it was such a joy to be with them and we're already planning on having another short relaxing mini vacay with them :D

Jamilah (Cynthia's daughter) and Daniel are the same age and they were inseparable the entire time. Cynthia and I would joke about how we really wished that one day they would date (crossing my fingers). They played together, ate together, walked together, and were just so adorable.

At the end of the night, when Cynthia and her family left to go back to the valley, both Daniel and Jamilah were sad to see each other go. In fact, we all wished that they would be able to stay but again, this was a last minute trip and plans were already made :(

Sunday morning, Daniel woke up and walked up to the door that connected the two rooms that we had shared with Cynthia and her family.  And whispered "Jamilah, are you awake?" I had to break the news to him, yet again, that Jamilah and her family had already left to go home. Oh, the heartache you could see through his newly awakened eyes.

Later after having breakfast, we headed off to the San Diego Zoo, in which I proclaimed after contesting that I didn't need sunblock, "I DON'T BURN! I BROWN!" Joke was on me because by the early evening, I was burnt to a crisp and to this day am having to pay the price of my naivity.

The park closed early evening and so Jerry and I decided to go back to the hotel to rest up. Shortly after, we got hungry, and I warned him that going out so late in the evening could only result in absolute meltdowns from little Matthew, but nooooooooo... Jerry was sure that everything would be fine. Once we got into the restuarant Matthew was restless and was whiney - just as I predicted. Jerry, with absolute turmoil, exclaimed that he was going back to the hotel. I pushed the high chair closer to him and said, "no, you're not. I told you so! You'll have to wait!"

Monday morning rolled around and we packed up all of our stuff and had a quick bite to eat. Then headed over to the San Diego Wild Animal Park. It wasn't as hot as the day before but we were all so very relaxed that we didn't mind the entire walk. It's about 5 times bigger than LA zoo and with having to push the stroller uphill about 80% of the time, we were exhausted by early afternoon.

We headed out to get home around 5 ish and thankfully not much traffic again.

To be home is bittersweet. We got home to a decently cleaned home but mounds of laundry and a routine that we had to reinstate for the kids. Matthew has been struggling with this the most and just last  night, he finally slept the full night. WAHOO!

Here are some pictures but there are many many more here on My Fotki

 Matthew and Bella at the toddler play area where we stayed most of the early afternoon. While the older kids played in the water play area.

Thankfully, we brought extra clothes for the kids so they could enjoy the water play area.

And my wonderful, but sometimes energy sucking boys!

Simply Irresistable

Hello, blog! I've neglected you and I'm profoundly apologetic about that.

The heat is beating down on Southern California and today we spent a good deal of it indoors.  It hit about 104 degrees today, and I wasn't about to subject myself nor my kids to the potential health hazard that the heat brings.

I do, however, let the younger boys out around 10 a.m. in our backyard before the real heat hits. Around this time it's only about 74 degrees, which isn't so bad. I captured this "bare" photo of Matthew watering our almost dead plants out back.  Yes, that's all grass and leaves all over his back. He LOVES to roll around in our yard, and I don't bother bugging him since he seems unbothered by it. As you can see he's a "butt clencher" another word for "tight ass" LOL! But he IS my cutie.

Honestly, I've also been absent because of the combination of just pure laziness from the heat and the pure exhaustion there is from keeping two young kids entertained indoors has kept me absent from my blog.  I do twitter a lot though and Facebook has officially become addictive. I don't understand why though, I guess by nature we are a species of curiosity.

A.F. came a packin' last night which upped my level of exhaustion into "well over" what I could handle.  So while Matthew took his very long afternoon nap, I joined him. I rarely ever do this because there is always so much to do around the house, but today I couldn't resist even if I tried.

Tomorrow, my dad leaves for the Phillippines for about a year. I'm actually really sad about this. It's funny how when I was younger I couldn't wait to get as far as I could from my dysfunctional family, but as the days are coming and plans are being executed, I'm beginning to get sentimental. My sister and I sat around the dinner table today reminscing about the old days and how the house that we grew up in and will be leaving soon holds so many memories... some good, some bad. For years, my parents have been saying that they were going to retire and now it's actually going to happen. I won't be an hour drive away from "HOME" but will have to fly thousands of miles to get a "home cooked" dinner. I just can't believe it and I'm in shock still. I guess you can say, that I never thought it would happen. I didn't think time was going to catch up with us and I would ever have to officially say to my parents, "I'll see you during the holidays." But, I'm really happy for my dad. He worked so hard for so many years, this is his time to live again. I just hope that the financial stress on my family right now will lighten up enough for us to make a trip out there next here and have a complete family reunion.

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On a more domestic note. I feel like I let a lot of my responsibilities around the house has gone to crap. I've been uber tired and reluctant to do anything because of this massive heatwave hitting us. This happens every year, I always halt all my duties because I can't adjust to heat. And because of that the tension in the house thickens and the kids are getting resless.

Matthew has started this squealing when he doesn't get what he wants and although it's ever-so-cute, it drives me nutso when I can't breathe from sweating. Daniel has grown incredibly whiney and I find myself pawning him off to Jerry when it's too much for me to handle. Brandon has this rash around his lips from licking it so much that it's driving me to loofah his mouth during baths to get it to go away. Jerry and I have been on the edge of madness, but still find it amusing that our children always seem to make us smile when all we want to do is scream. They truly are simply irrresistable!

Keeping me on my toes constantly

Most of my day is me constantly running after Matthew. Picking up every crumb, fixing every little toy, wiping every little spill, and always changing his clothes - seriously though, I think I change him at least 10 times a day. Some days, I just leave him in his mess if I think he'll be getting dirty again anyhow.

The other morning when eating breakfast. Matthew insisted on eating at the "big" table with the "big" boys. I tried to get him down several times, but he insisted and finally I just gave up. He'll eat his breakfast on his high chair, but he always ends up climbing up our tall chairs and find a way to eat off of one our plates... and I mean ALWAYS.

I let him sit on top of the table with a bowl of cereal and just watched him at arms length. Those "experts" say that when a toddler is teaching himself to eat, to allow him to make a mess. I wish these "experts" would also suggest a sane way of cleaning up after them as well.

I have to admit though, with Matthew there is seriously never a dull moment. He's either scavenging through the left over food at the table that I'm not quick enough to clear up or taking his diaper off in the backyard only to "take a dump" in the grass. He is always into something, but I love it! It definitely keeps me on my toes.

Testing my patience is an art that my boys have mastered. But after the shock of whatever mess or chaos they've done, I can't help but laugh and just shake my head, I kind of have to.  I think most moms will agree with me when I say that the only remedy to a headache that only your child can give you is to laugh along side them.